Spend any time talking with lawyers about business development and you will hear a word spoken with unease: salesy. For many professionals, the very idea of seeking work conjures images of someone advertising their services with a placard that says “Here is my expertise, and here is my fee”. It is little wonder that so many recoil from the notion of selling themselves or asking for business.
Yet business development is an essential part of a successful legal career, regardless of where you practice. Across cultures, there are different predispositions toward promoting one’s work. In some countries, talking openly about achievements is welcomed, yet in others, modesty is prized and conversations about new work must be approached more delicately. Whatever the context, lawyers everywhere benefit from learning how to build genuine client relationships rather than seeing business development as a hard sell.
Through research for ‘Breaking Ground: How Successful Women Lawyers Build Thriving Practices’ (PLI, 2026) and my experience advising lawyers across the globe, I have found three common reasons for hesitation when it comes to developing business.
1. Lawyers are not trained for this
Legal education focuses on sharpening analytical skills, interpreting statutes and advocating in courtrooms or negotiations. Very little attention is paid to how to attract clients, position oneself in a specific market or sustain a practice. Even today, only a portion of law firms provide systematic guidance to associates and partners about how to approach business development. Those who have never been shown how to do it understandably find the process daunting.
2. Lawyers have an acute dislike of rejection
Research by psychologist Dr. Larry Richard shows that lawyers, as a group, score lower on resilience than many other professionals. They are trained to anticipate risks and spot flaws, which can make setbacks feel especially personal. When a lawyer is turned down after reaching out to a prospective client, the instinct may be to withdraw rather than try again. Over time, this fear of rejection can prevent even talented lawyers from sharing their value with the market.
3. There is a shortage of role models
This is particularly evident for women. Fewer than one quarter of the largest US law firms are led by women. There is greater representation at the level of practice group leadership, but visible examples of how to grow a practice remain limited. Without seeing peers succeed, lawyers of all backgrounds may struggle to imagine what authentic business development could look like for them.
Making business development feel natural
The good news is that there are practical steps lawyers can take to make business development feel comfortable and effective. The most successful professionals focus not on selling but on connecting, helping and building relationships over time.
Begin with small, manageable actions. Confidence grows step by step. Reconnect with a former classmate or colleague, attend a departmental lunch or offer to speak on a topic you know well. Set goals that are realistic rather than intimidating. Each positive interaction adds momentum and helps you become more at ease discussing your work.
Reframe the purpose from selling to helping. When lawyers see business development as an extension of client service, the process becomes far less intimidating. Instead of talking about yourself, ask thoughtful questions. What challenges is the client facing? Where might you add value? Whether the task involves guiding someone through litigation, advising on a cross border acquisition or planning for the future, the focus is on solving problems rather than promoting credentials.
Practice deliberately and seek feedback. Like mastering a new language, business development skills require repetition. Schedule regular opportunities to explain your work to trusted colleagues or mentors. Role play potential client meetings, attend workshops or experiment with how you describe your experience. Over time you will develop fluency and the confidence that comes from preparation.
A universal lesson
While Breaking Ground concentrates on women lawyers as a sample group, its lessons apply broadly. Success in developing a practice is not about adopting an aggressive persona or broadcasting one’s merits. It is about forming meaningful connections, understanding client needs and cultivating trust over the long term.
In an interconnected world, lawyers increasingly advise clients whose businesses, cultures and expectations span borders. Sensitivity to these differences is essential. A style that feels natural in New York or London may come across as too assertive in Tokyo or São Paulo. Conversely, an overly reserved approach might seem disengaged in markets where directness is appreciated. Adapting your approach while remaining authentic is one of the most valuable skills a lawyer can develop.
Building for the future
For firms and legal departments, encouraging a thoughtful approach to business development is an investment in institutional strength. Providing training, creating mentoring programmes and celebrating lawyers who build client relationships with integrity can help counteract the hesitation many feel.
For individuals, the path forward is personal. Start small, stay curious about your clients’ priorities and look for ways to contribute to their success. Over time, you will find that developing business is not about being salesy. It is about service, curiosity and commitment to helping others achieve their goals.
Deborah Farone of Farone Advisors is a consultant based in New York City and the author of Best Practices in Law Firm Business Development and Marketing. Her new book Breaking Ground: How Successful Women Lawyers Build Thriving Practices is available for pre-order now. She can be reached at [email protected].
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